“Over Parenting”: Helicopter Moms and Dads

“Over parenting” can be defined as parents who exert control over the particular outcomes of their child. They exert control over their child’s extracurricular activities, free time, and college and career choices, while incessantly checking grades online and championing and advocating for their child. As parents micromanage homework completion, or call a university to discuss roommate situations, they, inevitably, prevent their children from understanding how the world truly works or what it feels like to advocate for themselves.

When helicopter moms and dads take away their children’s opportunity to solve problems or to learn from their mistakes, they are also eliminating opportunities for them to strengthen in self-confidence, to think for themselves, and to develop self-awareness.

For some time now, the role of over-involved parents has been seeping into the culture of college campuses. As a result of micromanaging parents, some students lack the executive function necessary to survive and thrive on their own. When students of “over parenting” feel lost or need support, they text or call their moms before advocating and taking ownership for themselves.

College students raised by helicopter parents struggle in believing they possess the capacity to set and achieve goals on their own. Often times, they are more dependent; they are more reliant on others; they have diminished coping mechanisms; they lack a sense of responsibility and conscientiousness compared to their peers. Studies have shown that college students of this generation, as a result of the helicoptering parent epidemic, are more hopeless, anxious, and depressed than students in previous generations.

For parents, it may be difficult to take a step back and to release some of the reigns. Yet, by interceding whenever they sense their children are struggling, it denies their children opportunities to learn how to navigate the world around them and how to persevere when facing obstacles.

When supportive parents allow for their children to advocate for themselves when something goes awry, they help them to develop a love of people and of human experience. This empowers children with the necessary tools needed to master basic problem-solving skills. By demarcating boundaries and providing guidance to children, they will develop compassion, self-confidence, and the ownership needed to become successful adults.